This year I’ve been trying to get into the bible more.  Inspired by the Pastor at my new(ish) church, he actually knows how many days in a row he’s been in the bible without missing a day (he’s up in the thousands now).  This past new year’s they handed out reading plans, and I decided to try it.  My goal lately is progress not perfection, so although I haven’t read every day, and I’m “behind” on the reading plan, I’m still reading a lot more than I did last year.  Progress.  Progress is my success, and success begets success.

I’ve read several different ways of doing quiet time, but as my ENFP self often does I wound up finding my own special way of doing it that works for me and I thought I’d write about it.  I tried to come up with a really cute acronym that I could share but got nothing so here you go: Dump, Thank, Listen, Process.

Dump: I realized I would pickup my bible to read but not be getting anything to sink in because I had so much swarming around in my head.  So I got a cheap composition book that I happened to have covered with a magazine cutout collage years ago (a project done at  jewish woman’s house who then read to me the meaning of the pictures I choose and she was actually had some good insight) and I keep this with my bible.  If my mind is swimming and I have to “dump” some stuff in order to be ready to listen, I write out some prayers it first.  Now, when I say “write prayers”, I don’t mean holy sounding King James type stuff, I mean stuff like:

“Lord, I am SO incredibly tired this morning, please give me some energy”.

“Lord, I have so much to do, I don’t even know where to start.  I feel so overwhelmed. Please help me sort out my priorities and please please please for the love of you please help me actually DO the things that I need to do.”

“Lord, I so yelled at my kids yesterday, I do not want to do that again today.  Please give me patience and wisdom”.

“Lord, ___ has been heavy on my heart.  Please help them with ____  and ____.”

Some may call it a prayer journal, to me it’s more of a dump journal.  There must be some heavy weighted lead in my pencil because as I write, I begin to feel lighter.  I am reminded I am not in this alone. God has my back. He cares for me. He cares about the people I care about, even more than I care about them.

Sometimes I have thoughts and fears that are deeper, darker.  Getting this stuff out lessens depression, anxiety, and the havoc I can wreak on thoughts if they stay locked up in my own head.  As my first pastor said about dark thoughts, “drag that puppy out into the light where God can work on it”.

Sometimes I write one thing, somethings I write pages, depending on where my heart is at and how much time I have.  Sometimes I write the same thing every day.  If it’s coming up, I write it down.  The patterns and repetitions helps me see where I struggle.

Do not discount the power of dumping.  Think of a toddler playing in a sandbox, why do they fill up that Tonka dump truck with a load of sand?  They may drive it around for a few minutes but that will quickly lose it’s luster for very soon they will feel the urgent need to lift up the front and experience the adrenaline rush of all their hard work dumping out at once.  Freedom.  Weightlessness.  Ahhhh.  It’s like picking at a scab that finally comes off (I know… ewww.  Sorry, I have boys).  It’s one reason kids love garbage trucks – they LOVE to watch things being dumped.

Thank: After dumping my natural reaction is to turn to thankfulness.  I am so thankful I had somewhere to go with all this.  So I write out a few “thankfuls”.  Thanks for answering a prayer, thanks for the people in my life and why, thanks for using me in a certain way, thanks for the inspiration on a certain problem, thank you for your nature; that you are a forgiving God because of the sacrifices you made I walk in freedom, thank you for taking all of this off of my shoulders so I don’t have to carry it around all day, thank you that there is no condemnation or shame for those that know you.

Listen: After I’ve gotten rid of the junk and cultivated a thankful attitude, I am then in a place where I’m ready to listen.  Often this means reading the bible, but I must tell you that on busy mornings if I only have time to dump & thank, then that’s all I do.  Some would call this failure, but I walk away lighter and with an attitude of gratitude and the world’s version of success or failure no longer defines me.   I know who’s I am and he is proud of me.  Later I can listen to the bible on audio (available for free with several apps including YouVersion) or I can read later in the afternoon or evening.

More importantly, even on the days I walk away at this point, I have prepped myself to be ready to listen.  I have rid myself of the junk that can clog up my heart and I am ready to discern  wisdom that’s been hidden in there.  I am ready to really hear others, ready to read between the lines and hear their heart, ready to take on the world’s conflicts and issues and whatever the day may throw at me.

Sometimes (especially when I’m doing step 1 and 2 in the car and therefore not writing it out) listening includes stopping for a moment, taking a breath, and asking God if there is anything he wants to say to me.  Then I stop.  And listen.  I’ve never heard an audible voice (except for that one time I believe the GPS answered my question) but I’ve got some sort of an answer every time.

On the days I do read, I like having the reading plan.  Yes I’m behind, yes the dates don’t match up, but part of God’s work in me is to give up perfection and accept me for who I am and where I’m at.  Right now, I am a somewhat disorganized busy mom of 3 boys who is a month behind on the reading plan (not to mention skipped 2 months early in the year).  This is where I am at.  Trying to be something I’m not will result in me giving up in despair.  Accepting who I am and where I’m at allows me to work with what is in reality towards the next step of real progress.  Progress (not perfection) is my success.  Success begets success.

That said, I treasure the mornings I do get to read my bible, and these days are becoming more and more often as I learn to plan better and make this more of a priority.  The more I do it, the more I see the results and the results are mind blowing.  Seeing how my life is changing and what God is doing, the passion grows to make sure THIS comes first each and every day. There is nothing like it.  I can’t fully describe it, you just have to try it for yourself to experience it.

Process:  Last year I was shown the incredible importance of taking the time to process.  I am a slow decision maker, so obviously I knew it’s better for me to take my time in decision making.  However the busier I get, the more I don’t allow time to just process what’s going on around me and in my life and things I’m learning, the more stressed out I get.  Like, really.   It’s like a library return box that gets full & eventually clogs up.  I need to take time to put things in their place.  This is frustrating for me, because for the most part I am a fast-paced person.  I get bored easily, and I do not like to do things the long way (except for the times that I do). But if I don’t take some down time to process, I shut down.  Everyone has different needs as to how much time they need to process new things, just like everyone needs different amounts of sleep.  But like sleep, everyone needs some of it.   I encourage you, do not to de-value this time.

As I’m reading the bible, sometimes what I’m reading is new, this I would put in the “listening” category, as I’m listening to what God is teaching me.  But sometimes I am re-reading (or skimming) something in the bible I’ve listened to on audio a few times, but I get a deeper insight because I can read the notes and the bio’s about the people in it.  I have colored pencils that I can underline or dry highlight things that stick out to me and doing that helps me process what I’m learning, and helps the “aha” stick out later if I go back later to find it again.  Often when something speaks to me I will go back to the journal and write questions I have or notes or thankfuls for insight I’ve gotten or prayer requests that were answered by reading something.  Sometimes I write out a verse or the “aha” I got from it on a notecard so when I see it it reminds me about it.  Sometimes I just sit back and “be still” and let it sink in.  Today I picked up my laptop and ended up writing out a blog post.  I’m hoping to do this more often, you know, with all the free time I have with 3 kids.   Progress.